Philadelphia, PA. Garth Snow, Sean Burke, Johnny Vanbiesbrouck, Brian Boucher, Roman Checkmanek, Jeff Hackett, Robert Esche, Antero Niddermakker, Marty Biron, and now Ray Emery is set to add his name to the list of former all-star, all-pro, hall of fame Philadelphia goalies, who for some reason or another just didn’t work out. Biron, who wanted more money in the off-season is being jettisoned in favor of the mercurial goalie of recent Russian league fame, former Ottawa Senator, former Stanley Cup finalist, a pedigree that ensures he will fit in nicely with the Flyers who have since 1995 placed almost no importance on the goalie position and do not seem to care who knows it.

Said Philadelphia GM, Paul Holmgren, minutes before the 11AM EST press conference where the Flyers indicated their intent on signing Mr. Emery; “Ray is an all-star caliber goalie, who we signed cheap because we really don’t give a crap about that position. I mean, since drafting Hexxy [Ron Hextall] in 1982, we have had a mentality that the goaltender position is rather irrelevant in this league. Hell, even Tretiak , who is considered the best Russian goalie of all time, told Bobby [Clarke] back in the day, that having an elite goalie wasn’t necessary to win championships. We here in Philly, abide by that philosophy. Look at a guy like Chris Osgood, GAA of almost 4 in the regular season and he’s about to etch his name on the cup…again. That just proves my point right there!”

Emery doing what he does best

“So we’re signing a new goalie, big deal.” commented Flyer executive Bobby Clarke. “Obviously, we think Ray’s a better goalie than Marty [Biron]. If we win the cup, great, if not, we’ll just have another guy we can blame and then ship out of town.”

Since arriving in Philly late last night, Emery has been already working out with the team. He’s said to have gotten into a minor altercation with Philly’s PR staff on the color of hat he’s going to wear at today’s press conference. In addition, apparently, he got into a rematch altercation with Martin Biron, whom he fought when Biron was with the Sabres.   There was no word on who won.

"I just wanted to beat the crap out of him one more time." remarked Emery.

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